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The Mirror - Part 2

Posted on Fri Dec 1st, 2017 @ 7:47am by Lieutenant Commander Yara Blackwater & Lieutenant Rafan Kel

Mission: Deep Space 12
Location: Private Room; DS12
Timeline: Pre-MD06 0930hrs

"Oh right, you were asking about him and our children." The human-inhabiting Trill near chirped as he realized he had once again strayed off topic. "Well, Heama was a geologist who worked with quite a few mining corporations to help ensure safety of all involved in the process. Fascinating work really, but he decided that he would retire and stay home with our daughters when we decided we would adopt a third."

"Did you enjoy being a father to three girls?" Rafan asked curiously while he shifted and picked up another piece of hasperat, nibbling on it while he turned to watch his friend while Jezran continued to enjoy himself having a body.

“Five, actually. Heama and I actually had a surrogate and donor female we worked with - both very close friends of ours - and our family finished up with our twins.” Jezran explained, a fond, warm smile spreading on Dolan’s features. “Do you have a family of your own yet?”

"Ah, no I don't actually...most of my focus has been on my own career and work." Rafan said as he realized that Jezran was quite similar to himself that it was more than a little eerie for him to be sitting here talking with the long dead man. "I've had a relationship in the past that was very close, but we ended up going our own ways because of different priorities."

“A shame, but you’re still young.” Jezran replied patiently and it seemed that Dolan was simply going to remain quiet on the matter. “Though I will tell you, it isn’t for everyone - marriage and a family that is. It’s very fulfilling, but it is not the only way to find fulfillment in life contrary to what many people seem to think.”

"Oh?" Rafan asked curiously since that was something he'd been facing whenever he spoke with his family or returned home...especially after he had taken Yara with him to visit Trill.

“Well of course not. Everyone finds fulfillment in their own way - many find it in starting a family, but it isn’t for everyone. It is possibly the biggest commitment one can make in their lives and should not be taken lightly.” Jezran smiled. “I adored every one of my daughters and would have done anything for them, but I would be lying if I said it was all sunshine and roses. There were even times where in a moment I would regret the whole thing, but those never lasted long and I have an astounding amount of happy memories that far, far outshine the bad moments.”

Rafan nodded as he listened to the other man, wondering if he should focus on his work instead of pursuing Yara, he silently considered his personal quandary as he finished off his drink and food. "Would you have wanted to stay with your husband even if you never had your daughters?"

"Oh most definitely. Heama was the light of my life and made me into a better man. I could not imagine my life without him and his company and with him I never regretted anything for even a moment." The warmth coming from Dolan's voice carried easily and it wasn't hard to imagine that perhaps he was even speaking a bit with Jezran at that point.

Rafan nodded as he considered the other man's words as he tapped his fingers against this empty glass as he smiled a little at the warmth in the other man's voice. "Tell me about your work and what made you want to pursue being a warp theorist instead of some other variation of scientist?" He asked curiously.

“Well, you have to consider in my prime, warp travel was still something that we were heavily working to improve; most Trill continued to stay in the sciences most comfortable to our world such as geology, oceanography, and xenobiology to study our symbionts. Not many threw themselves into warp theory and I liked the thought of leaving my mark in the field and not falling into a sea of faceless names.” Jezran explained, a slight smile tugging on Dolan’s face.

Rafan's brow furrowed as he realized that he was much more similar to Jezran than any of his other hosts, at least the similarities were more than a little obvious and quite on the nose for him and it made him wonder why the Trill in Dolan's body had such a significant influence on him. He got up to pour himself some more of the tulaberry juice and brought the decanter over and topped off Jezran's glass. He wondered if he ha allowed Jezran to take him over and live vicariously through him just as Hysio had done.

The implications caused him to become pensive and he wondered if there was something wrong with him that he couldn't control the past hosts of Kel. Maybe he shouldn't have been a host at all. He sipped his drink as he brow furrowed more and the seeds of self doubt began to creep in on him. "So what were you like before being joined? Did your personality change much?"

“In some ways yes, but not in others. Being joined grounded me believe it or not. I was even worse with being indecisive without Kel. She fed my curiosity though. I also gained more confidence in my abilities, I would say.” He tapped Dolan’s lower lip with his index finger slightly.

"Confidence? How so?" Rafan asked curiously, tilting his head slightly as he looked over at the other man, listening to him as he thought about what that could mean.

There was a moment where Jezran seemed to be considering what to say, allowing a beat of silence to pass between them before he smiled. "I was never a confident man in life, I always second guessed my decisions or found reasons to make myself wrong about things - I know that sounds very strange, but it's true. I almost lost Heama because of that doubt, luckily he was a good deal more focused than I was and he knew what I was doing to myself, to us."

Rafan nodded as he listened, sipping his drink as he did his best to process what Jezran had said as he leaned his head into his hand. "So if you could give me any one piece of advice, what would it be...since we don't really get to talk like this on a regular."

"I suppose it would be to be confident in your abilities and yourself. You weren't chosen to be joined by some mistake or accident just like I wasn't chosen by mistake or accident. There were some days that felt like that of course, but I know I deserved to have Kel and I enriched her life." Jezran replied after a moment and gave Rafan one of Dolan's charming smiles.

Rafan couldn't help but smile in return as he saw that smile on the other man's face, it was one that the Trill had seen him use to win over a particularly difficult opponent and one that the diplomat had worn during their early flirtations with one another. That it was something he wore often didn't diminish it for Rafan since he had his own fond memories tied up in it.

Their conversation went back and forth a bit between one another, Jezran flightily asking a million and one questions about this, that and any other things that seemed to come into the Trill’s mind. As the time drew near for the Guardian to come back and return Jezran to Kel, Rafan found that he better understood where he had inherited his rather excitable personality from, though he could himself get worked up over a scientific oddity, it seemed that Jezran had enhanced this to an enth degree.

He also thought that he should get a nice steak dinner for Yara, since she had been such a saint with putting up with him and not wringing his neck like a chicken when he would get off on a tangent and ramble on for hours.


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